So here’s what happened. This kid named Dustin Hoffmann (for real), was working late night at a Dunkin’ Donuts. This guy rolls in and is all like, “ give me a fuckin donut.” So the kid gives him a donut and the guy pays. Just as the kid opens the cash register the guy jumps behind the counter and tries to steal the money. The kid grabs a ceramic mug and clobbers the guy.

Did he do it because he was scared or filled with adrenaline.Did he do it becuase he loves Dunkin Donuts so much that he would defend her with his life. No…He did it because he didn’t want to look like a pussy on YouTube.

“What was going through my mind at that point was that the security tape is either going to show me run away and hide in the office or whack this guy in the head, so I just grabbed the cup and clocked the guy pretty hard,”

- World Wide Weird

In my world, this kid is still a pussy. Let me tell you what I would have done. I would have beaten him uncouncious and then dropped my pants and did everything I could to poop all over his head. If I couldn’t get any poop out, I would shove a chocolate cream filled doughnut up my ass and then shit that out on his head. Now that would have made a great YouTube video. Fucking Amateurs.