I can’t take it anymore. I wanna know who’s gonna dip there hoo hoo dilly in that messy slop bucket that is Ms. New York. I don’t think Tailor Made is gonna make the cut. He’s been worth her time up to this point but she’s not going to ever be in love with him. I don’t think Buddha is going to make it either. She can’t control him and that makes her absolutely crazy. She’ll drop his ass on the last episode just to make him pay for fuckin her head up. I think we’ve all been there. We like somebody so much, but they won’t let us have it our way, so we feel a loss of power and control, so… we’re crazy in love one minute then fuck you, you piece of shit the next. It’s a classic situation.

In the end, New York will pick a man who is far to good for her… Punk. As we saw last week, the parents came to town. Punks mom was so simple and sweet, and the sister, even with a half sleeve tattoo, also seemed incapable of dealing with New York and her Trans gender mother. New York, however, come reunion time, will be dumped by punk. Why? Oh maybe because she called his family ugly during her “confessional” time with us. It’s gonna be I Love New York Season 1 all over again. She made that mistake with Tango. She talked mad shit about his mamma and BAM, the engagement was off.

That’s cool with me, cause I wanna do Punk. That’s right, I wanna grease his bulging biceps with crisco and slide across his body like them Duke boys slid across the hood of the General Lee!

I Love New York 3… I can’t wait.

Hail to the Redskins, Hail Victory. Braves on the war path, fight for all DC!

Run or Pass or score, we’ve won a lot more. Beat em, swamp em, touch down, let the points soar.

FIGHT ON FIGHT ON TIL YOU HAVE WON SONS OF WASHINGTON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In memory of Washington Redskin’s

Sean Taylor

As most of you know, my blogs contain an abundance of useful information that you and your fellow comrades can take into the world and use as to spread peace and joy. With the holidays fast on our asses, I think it’s important that we remember a few key things to enjoy them safely.

1. Always have a tape recorder handy so when one of your parents gets really drunk off the Vino and divulges the positions in which they “banged” your moms hot box and had her beggin for more, you can use it to guarantee any Christmas, Hanuka, Kwanzaa, etc etc gift for the rest of your days.

2. Remember that when you’re shopping for Christmas, it’s always wise to buy other people gifts. I know it can get overwhelming. There’s so much to be bought and it all looks good on your fine ass. Just be sure to stop buy the soap isle and get your mom something nice.

3. This year, get your grandma some underwear. I mean, she seems to think it’s a pretty sweet gift. Maybe she’s been trying to tell you something.

4. Why do they call the day after Thanksgiving “black friday?” I’ll tell you why, cause the night before you got so damn drunk that you blacked out and didn’t wake up ’til “wake up” Saturday.  Please drink responsibly.

5. Last but not least, when you bring home that special someone, be sure they’re die hard republicans or good liars. It’s every right winged parents nightmare to have their child bring home a lefty, bra burnin, homo lovin, nationwide health insurance wantin, save the planet so your children’s, children can live to see another day demi liberal prick bastard. Tell em to Lie… you did.

Good Luck out there!

And Happy Thanks Giving

So New York (Tiffany Pollard) brought back Buddha last week and I’m all like what the fuck? Listen that guy may be hot for a Mangalore… you know, one of those creepy shape shifting Yoda looking warriors from the “Fifth Element.” Yeah I said it. That guy is fucked up looking. Sure Tailor Made is a pushover douche bag, but at least you know he’s not some violent ass hole who covers his assholishness by pretending to… well, not to be a violent asshole who covers up his assholishness. Which only backs up my first statement, that he’s a shape shifting Mangalore from the planet who gives a shit from the movie fifth element. Come on Sister Patterson, what the fuck. Doesn’t your third eye pick up on psycho abusive men who beat on people half their size. New York, Tailor Made is a pussy and you’ll eventually dump him cause in the end you don’t really want a guy you can boss around, but please do not pick Buddah. Also, in case you guys missed it, New York dumped Wolf this week because he busted ass in her face while she was sleeping. I don’t care how big your dick is. If you fart on me before I fart on you, You’re out! None of these guys are good enough. Next season, ZAG’s auditioning for I Love New York 3, and you know there’s gonna be one. So be ready to Vote, Vote, Vote. I LOVE NEW YORK!!!!!