Life and death are always so close to us that we sometimes forget they are there. It’s easier to not think about. Someone who cleans the piss off the floors of public bathrooms for a living can’t really afford to contemplate their mortality or run off in pursuit of a dream on a whim. If they did, who’d get the job done? Society needs us to remain productive. Our families need us to keep our shit together even in times of crisis. Crack-heads need the rest of us to make money so that they can steal it or beg us to hand it over voluntarily.

Is it possible though, to live like you know the clock is running out while still managing our obligations? I think so. The secret is…there’s no secret. People should do whatever the fuck they want to do, knowing that there will be consequences for their actions. If you enjoy a hot cup of coffee in the morning, go get one; Just don’t go crying to the legal system if you spill it and fry your own nuts or if you stop growing a few inches sooner than you should. If you’re fed up with the way things are, do something about it. Understand that your actions may fail at accomplishing what you want, but inaction will guarantee failure.

Taking personal responsibility is incredibly liberating. Knowing full well that you have only yourself to blame in most cases, allows the understanding to be able to detect fault far more precisely when it falls in someone else’s lap. This way, people who try to pass the buck or deflect will need to be accountable when they deal with you. More people taking their own responsibilities seriously means less folks need to cover other’s asses, which will suddenly open up a whole lot of extra free time for us to do what we want.

If your good buddy at work isn’t pulling her weight, buckle down and handle your own business. If you never cover for her, you won’t have to feel guilty when the time comes for her to be responsible for her own work. Don’t be sad when she gets fired. She’ll land on her feet and maybe even find a gig more suiting her talents.

Can’t go out anymore because you’re trying to build a nest-egg? Saving for the future? What’s the good of a nest if you can’t leave it sometimes? Why would you need money in the future if you never use it in the present?

See where I’m going with this stuff? I’m not a genius or anything. These are fairly simple concepts. I just think we forget them sometimes due to all the distractions which occupy our lives. I look around for reminders that I am currently living a great life and that it could end at any minute.

For instance, I found out this week that one of my coworkers lost his daughter. I’m attending her funeral today. She was a happy chick in her mid-twenties. One day, her body just turned off like someone forgot to pay the electric bill. It wasn’t violent or drawn out or expected. She just stopped living one day. I never met the gal and it breaks my heart. My concern isn’t for the one who’s gone though. I feel for those left in the wake of it. How will they look back on the times they shared? What’s been left unsaid? What do they regret?

I can’t speak about how this woman lived her life. I can only put it in perspective by relating it to my own. I have a wife and son. When someday one of us unexpectedly stops living, I wouldn’t want those who remained to ever regret a moment of the time when we were. That is, I strive for each week –every day– to have some sort of meaning. Whether it’s learning something new, sharing something interesting, having a laugh, going outside the norm, or even just appreciating what’s always been there. I hope to not have my loss tarnished by regret. When I go, I don’t want people saying that I’m better off dead or that I’m in a better place. I want them all to know that I liked this place and made the most of it.

I’d like it if the void of loss left by people who died could remain filled with pleasant memories. It just feels better to walk through a room which is filled with the distant joy of days gone by, rather than one with the buzz of television and missed opportunity.

I know way too many people who go about their routine every single day not realizing that life is passing them by. They don’t think about life or death or the great stuff that happens in between. I try to inject a bit of unexpected change in their lives from time to time; a useless tidbit of information, a goofy tune or joke, a perspective they haven’t seen before. My hope is that some of them get hooked on it and begin to seek it out on their own.

-King 0f New York